Let's All Bank With GMAC

GMAC wants to become a bank holding company so it can participate in the $700 billion banking bailout.

Apparently the deep pockets of Cerberus, the private equity firm that owns a majority of GMAC, aren't deep enough. And we all know that General Motors(GM Quote), which owns a minority stake in GMAC, doesn't have any cash to spare.

So it makes perfect sense for taxpayers to help out.
Why not? After all, Goldman Sachs (GS Quote) did it, and many insurers like Hartford Financial (HIG Quote) and Lincoln National(LNC Quote) are doing it too -- buying little banks so they can qualify for a piece of the taxpayer pie.

This is apparently the new American way. Companies screw up, get in trouble and then turn to the government to bail them out. No worries, the government can always print more money, right?

Let's all switch our bank accounts to GMAC. It's obviously a well-run business.

Help Car Buyers If Not Carmakers

The way I see it, taxpayers are going to be helping U.S. carmakers one way or another.

If Congress doesn't come out with an official bailout, then General Motors(GM Quote), Ford (F Quote) and Chrysler will likely seek a back-door bailout by declaring bankruptcy and dumping their burdensome employee retirement obligations on the U.S. Pension Benefit Guaranty Corp.

OK, the PBGC isn't directly supported by taxes and isn't officially backed by the U.S. government -- but that's what they said about Fannie Mae (FNM Quote) and Freddie Mac (FRE Quote), right?
The PBGC is already burdened with a nearly $11 billion deficit for fiscal 2008 after taking over pension plans dumped in recent years by U.S. airlines, including UAL (UAUA Quote), US Airways (LCC Quote) and Delta(DAL Quote).
If the carmakers don't get help from Congress, you can be sure they'll follow the example of the airlines.
Where it gets really interesting for lawmakers is deciding whether foreign carmakers should get help, too. These days, Toyota(TM Quote), Honda(HMC Quote), Daimler's(DAI Quote) Mercedes and BMW have almost as many factories and employees in the U.S. as the so-called Big Three.
So maybe the best solution is to offer a car loan deduction to U.S. taxpayers along the lines of the mortgage deduction. Even crappy cars may move off the lots if they become more affordable.
After that, let's ditch the gas tax so we can afford to fill up the tanks of our big, shiny, new American gas guzzlers.
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Today's Outrage: Yahoo!'s Yang Gets Yanked

Jerry Yang's exit from the CEO role at Yahoo! (Stock Quote: YHOO) was inevitable.

The big question is why Yahoo! is even bothering to look for a replacement. Surely Microsoft (Stock Quote: MSFT) will want to put its own cronies in charge. Isn't that inevitable, too?

Yang fought Microsoft's overtures and the $33-per-share takeover offer, Yahoo! shares have dropped to about $10, and now Yang's stepping aside. That's no coincidence.

Personally, I feel bad for Yang. He never had a fighting chance. The stock market collapsed out from under him as the crisis in the financial sector engulfed everything in its path. The economic slowdown is now heading straight into recession, and online advertising is shriveling up.

Yahoo! may well have been better off without Microsoft. But it looks like we'll never know.

Where's MY Bailout?

Consumers everywhere, rejoice! Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson is coming to the rescue.

The $700 billion banking bailout is being opened up to help consumers get credit cards, school loans or borrow money to buy a car. Foreclosure relief may also be included.

Turns out the trickle-down theory wasn't working the way Paulson had hoped. Giving banks such as Citigroup (Stock Quote: C) and Wells Fargo (Stock Quote: WFC) a bunch of money was supposed to get the system back to normal. But the newfound caution in the financial services industry won't be abandoned that easily. Nope. The banks found religion. They are playing it safe. No more lending with reckless abandon, even with taxpayer money.

So looks like the government is going to become the new "Bank of the People."

Of course, that doesn't really help me. I'm not thinking about buying a car, and I don't need a student loan -- and I'm still getting flooded with all those annoying credit card offers in the mail.

The bailout I need is for my 401(k) retirement plan. If Paulson wants to buy some distressed assets, he can start there! And I bet there are millions more like me.